The Wrong Flight

In 2009 my hommie Tish & I were rounding up our final year projects back in RUN and (as every responsible young student always did) we scammed our parents for project-funds while we did all the necessary research & got all the necessary articles online… for free… with the school Wifi… which was also free… but slow. When we were almost done with our projects we discovered that collectively we had 190stacks stashed up in our accountS. Emphasis on the “s” cos it wasn’t a joint account. Separate accounts yo. We ain’t gay. Aii, so we decided to take a trip to Calabar to go hook up with our nigga, Fony, who was schooling there. We were hoping he would hook us up with some bad ass bitches. So this Thursday afternoon we took a cab from school to gidi airport. Tish went to buy tickets while I settled the cab man & headed straight for the toilet. I had beans earlier in the day. Ye don’t laugh. The lil billy goat should have paid more attention in his Geography classes. He bought tickets to Rivers state instead of Cross-River. Shii didn’t even occur to me cos I felt he had that covered. Well, little did we know that was the beginning of our horrible weekend. We only noticed it when we were on the plane & the dude behind us asked the air hostess “Madam, any idea if there’s still light rainfall in PH like the news reported earlier?” We didn’t panic though. Remember we had money. When we touched down we immediately called Fony & explained what happened. Told him we would be getting to Calabar the next day instead.

We inquired about where we could get a cheap but nice hotel. We were directed to a certain Princeville Hotel & we went there. We got 2 rooms. Awesome & very comfy rooms. So in order not to look like two lonely ass masturbaters/faggets we decided to go look for chics. We strolled to a nearby lounge, bought two bottles of beer each & started surveying the area. PH girls. Mehn, I should have known. Two girls strolled past us & one winked at Tish. They passed again & the second one winked at Tish before they went ahead & sat on their table. I ain’t gon front I was burning inside with jealously. I mean, why the fuck wasn’t I getting a wink? Well, soon I got one. Their friend,a third girl, seated with them winked at me. So Tish & I stood & went to meet them at their table. That was all the green light we needed. We talked & laughed, ordered more drinks & grilled fish. They really were cool girls. The two that walked past us earlier were digging Tish. He jokingly brought up the idea of a threesome & they said they were down for whatever. Their friend seemed to genuinely like me though. She had a mean ass. I wanted to buss. That’s all that mattered. We all stood up & asked them to come join us at the hotel where we were staying & they agreed. Tish & his girls were ahead of us by some feet. Just then my phone rang, it was Fony. He wanted to know how we were doing.

“We having a great night bro… ain’t nothing to worry ‘bout. We’ll see tomorrow” I said & cut the call. Little did we know what we were in for in the next 2 hours of our lives.

***Tish’s 2hrs***
So Tish took those two chics back to his hotel room. I guess it was his first time having a threesome so he didn’t know how to go about it. Homeboy actually allowed them girls cuff him to a bed, apparently he thought it was part of their ongoing foreplay. Next thing, them bitches flipped. They robbed ma nigga Tish blind mehn. Took every freaking thing he had. Everything. They even called for backup (a big dude) to help ‘em take the stuff away. Before they left, they asked Tish for the password to his laptop which, of course, was part of the things they were stealing. Now there was this inside “joke” I started back in 2008. I used “Lailai” as the password to my laptop so when niggas asked to use my laptop & requested for the password I’ll say “lailai” to make myself seem greedy when I was in fact generous. Now Tish figured it out & started using “lailai” as his password as well. Aii, back to our story. So when these girls & the big dude asked Tish for his password, homeboy figured it was a great moment to ride the joke. Smart guy.
“lailai”
“Are you crazy? Tell us the password or we’ll deal with you”
“Lailai”
“Last chance. Abi Margaret, this chinco boy thinks we’re playing. If you don’t tell us the password you’ll regret it. What is it?”
“Lailai”
The two girls left the room, leaving the big guy behind with Tish. As close as Tish & I are, dude still hasn’t told me what happened after those girls left. All I can remember was that weeks later some random person was like “Omoh, Tish make una two go model. Una fit blow oh” and Tish was like “Are you mad??? Don’t ever say that again”.

***My 2hrs***
I felt this chic & I really hit it off. We had a very very long talk. Lasted for bout 2(two) minutes then I got bored. She told me she owned a small boutique around the corner (she was actually a sales girl there as I later found out) & wanted to pick up some things then head back to the hotel with me. I was fucking high. We were. We laughed & staggered as we made our way to “her” boutique. We got there, she opened up the store, turned on the light & opened a drawer to pick some stuff. I just went for it. I walked up to her & kissed her. She kissed back. T’was intense. Or I probably was just high & it was a bleh kiss. Either ways, I was about to get some. I lay her on the floor & hit one of my signature moves, the left brassiere-pop/tittie-suck move She was moaning. I took my pants off & then she immediately told me turn off the light. My ESP told me it was a bad idea but then she convinced me. Said she didn’t want passersby seeing/watching us. I stood up, hit the switch & came back to the same spot she was then… you know… I started fucking her. Or rather, I started fucking “her”. I mean, her body had become hard. She wasn’t moving. She wasn’t moaning. Her Vjayjay seemed to be bruising my Colonel but I just figured I was just high & my dick game was off for that night. I kept pounding. My Colonel kept hurting. She just lay there. (E)motionless. I came. Then I pulled out & lay on my back & asked how it was. I got no reply. I asked again. No reply. I got up & ran to hit the switch immediately. My pants that had my phones, cash, wallet & all that was gone. But that was the least of my problems. The least yo. I had just had unprotected premarital sex with a mannequin.

Copyright© 2012 http://www.theinsanephenom.wordpress.com

  1. ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

    • Dunialagbe
    • September 18th, 2012

    No bloody way! Chike! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
    Serves Okem right. :p

    • dammy
    • September 18th, 2012

    Na wa ooo

    • DeeRosyCheeks
    • September 18th, 2012

    Buhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! *gasps* Lord have mercy! Chike you know it’ll be unlike me if I didn’t say ‘it’. Good one ‘Chiboy’ ! ^_^’

    • jp
    • September 18th, 2012

    *smh.. Chile, ur jus a fool! Aswear. Lol

  2. LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Please don’t tell me this is a true story. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! I don’t even know which one is worse. Kai 😦

    • Tip
    • September 18th, 2012

    LOL High & horny mofo …. My question is: ‘Did the girls eventually take Tish’s laptop’?

    • long
    • September 18th, 2012

    Typical okem

    • Mscarterrr_
    • September 18th, 2012

    Still in shock. TF … LMAOOO

  3. hahahahaha!!! this cant be true!!!hahahahaha!!

  4. If I get fired at the office just know you’re finished! My goodness! TROLOL for dayzzzz!

    • carter
    • September 18th, 2012

    lmao…..wait this happned?? n okem is my flat mate..Jesus!!!

    • sawgee
    • September 18th, 2012

    that shiii craaaa!!!!

  5. LaiLai… PH girls are bad.. But not this bad.. Quick question: did this happen to Rj or Chike?

    • Bashyrah
    • September 18th, 2012

    LMAO!!! *Smh* Tueh!!!

    • NomskyN
    • September 18th, 2012

    LOOOOOOOL. You need to stop this imbecile behaviour. Lord !

    • Verb
    • September 18th, 2012

    LOOL…now you’ll have a ‘dummy’ for a child 😦 *hugs*

    • Ted
    • September 18th, 2012

    Pretty sure Tish got it thru his anal…Lol. Can’t stop laughing

    • Tori
    • September 18th, 2012

    Every responsible student engages in project scam, you know this!!! 😀
    Now to the story, this has gats to be fiction! Right? Right? O_O

    • Fony
    • September 18th, 2012

    Rotflmfao!!! So dis is d first tym I’m in ur blog and it had to be this??!! I feel terrible for Tish. I’ll make it up to u guys..book a ticket to calabar(do it urself dis tym!!) And I’ll hook u guys up wiv two girls each.

    • yinka
    • September 19th, 2012

    LMFAO…okem n him chinko eyes oh…haha

    • Smith
    • September 26th, 2012

    Hi, we would like to buy a link to our website in your next post. The subject of our website is salvage cars from American Copart auto auction. Please tell us what will be the price for the link at the end of your post, and what will be the price for your writing a post describing our website with our link? Do you have the opportunity to accept PayPal payments? Please answer to our email solar_limb@yahoo.com

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