The RJ Show S2E3: The Love Doctor

[Ground Floor. Colonel Stauffenberg’s Lounge]

*@Monsieur_RJ enter’s elevator to the last floor … Elevator opens … @Monsieur_RJ walks to the C.E.O.’s office*

@Monsieur_RJ: *Knocks and enters* Yo Saucy, Tsup boss? You wanted to see me.
@SaucyOfuje: Chilling. Have a seat bro. Umm, I’m a lil worried ’bout the way the show is going. That’s why I called you.
@Monsieur_RJ: worried? People said the last few episodes have been cool. What are u on about?
@Saucyofuje: *tosses letter at RJ* that’s what I’m on about. Your D’prince jabs have been too much lately & umm, he has sued us for the numerous libelous articles we’ve put up bout him. We might lose this blog. Might have take it down if he wins. You never listen,do you?

@Monsieur_RJ: ‘tf is he taking it p for? Them SYBT niggas diss people always & get away with it.
@Saucyofuje: You punk. Those are music critics. Its their job to do that. well, I warned you didn’t I? I want today’s show to be a lil diff. Something for the ladies. I need me some loose groupies.
@Monsieur_RJ: yea. I had that planned already. A love doctor type-thing. @HL_Blue is gon be our guest.
@Saucyofuje: Sounds cool. I’ll hire the best lawyers i can get. Hopefully we’ll win the case. That’ll be all for now. Fuck outa my office.
    ‎​    ****************************************

@Monsieur_RJ: welcome Ladies & gentlegoons to ANOTHER episode of The RJ Show. I’m your host RJ AKA Mr Birthmark on the nutsack. If you’re just joining for the first time you could visit The RJ Show for previous episodes. Today is a day for the ladies (& Drake-Ish fellas). We’ll be adressing relationship issues. And without further ado join me as we welcome our guest for today, a renowned “Hitch”. ladies & goons… @HL_Blue!!!

*Audience applauds but nobody comes out*

@Monsieur_RJ: err.. Mr Efe ladies & gentlemen!!!

*Audience applauds again but nobody comes out … A guard rushes to the stage & hands RJ a note*

@Monsieur_RJ: Damn! Umm, our sincere apologies people. Our Guest for today is stuck in traffic but we’ll have to carry on. I’ll be reading your mails & … Well, I know I ain’t good at relationship advices so I’ll try my best. Damn u traffic. Alright our first mail. *Clicks Remote*

*Screen shows an email*

@Monsieur_RJ: I see you’re really attracted to balls & watching men play with them every blessed day. break-up with you girlfriend, you’re a fagget. *Clicks Remote*

@Monsieur_RJ: Yellow jeans? Break-up with him, he’s a fagget. *Clicks Remote*


@Monsieur_RJ: Isn’t it obvious ur boyfriend does the 69 alot… Just not with ladies. Break-up with him, he’s a fagget. *Clicks Remote*


@Monsieur_RJ: Your boyfriend & his best friend have been having sex. It’s clear. Break-up up with him, he’s a fagget. *Clicks Remote*


@Monsieu_RJ: The fuck?? Why all these funny looking symbols? And why would you rather see Twilight than… You know what, break-up with ur girlfriend, u’re a fagget. *Clicks Remote*


@Monsieur_RJ: K™ *Clicks Remote*


@Monsieur_RJ: Finally, a serious question. Now, I “think” I understand why u might be mad. Any chic who… Ha! Who am I kidding? U don’t expect him to wash it down with a bottle of Red Wine when he’s done, do u? I mean he…
*@HL_Blue walks in looking tired & frustrated*

@HL_Blue: Yo RJ, sorry for not coming early.
@Monsieur_RJ: Woah..Pause.
@HL_Blue: Look no time for silly jokes. Let’s begin with the questions,shall we?
@Monsieur: errrr… I’m almost… Done. I thought you weren’t gon’ make it on time so I decided to answer the questions myself…
@HL_Blue: You? You answered the questions meant for me?
@Monsieur_RJ: yea, like I said I assumed you…

*@HL_Blue punches RJ in the face & follows with an upper-cut… Security guards rush to stage to hold Efe back while RJ is knocked the fooq out*

@HL_Blue: Piece of shit show. Waste of my damn time. *walks away in anger*

*Theme Song Plays…. American Psycho By D12*
PS: Feel free to offer advices/solutions to the faggets mentioned above. Use Le Comment box. Merci.

Copyright© 2012

    • Jemjem
    • April 6th, 2012

    If we weren’t planning a wedding…I’d call u a fagget n move on!

    • weird_oo
    • April 6th, 2012

    LOOL Faggets! i agree!

    • Daisy
    • April 6th, 2012

    *reads blog* It is kinna obvious you is a lil fagget, calling all ’em other folks faggets so we don’t see you, later you is gon be giving ’em ur number, jamming to Xtiana Aguilera and touching ur toes and shii. Bloody fag! (˘̯˘ )

  1. I don die!!!!
    “Yellow pants”?
    “Friend from greece”!
    “My best friend is cheating on me”…*clicks remote* LMAO

  2. #GBAM…..You Speaketh my mind.

    • Escobar
    • April 6th, 2012


    • ari
    • April 6th, 2012

    Rj u really r a weisssssssttttt tho LMFAO

  3. faggets!! -__-

    • whoistunde
    • April 6th, 2012


    • @Fiercecutie
    • April 6th, 2012

    Holy Lord, Chike.. *pauses 2 re-read blog* Sigh!! Chike! Gerald! Farooqu!

    • Verb
    • April 6th, 2012

    Lmao, obviously everyone’s a fagget, there’s always a way to prove it..lool foolish boy

    • Dru
    • April 6th, 2012

    U sick MoFo” keep cracking us up bro.. *thumbz up* 2 u.. Greatest fagget of them all.. Well.. Datz what I’d say if I didn’t know all d babes u’ve “kpenshed”..:p lol!

    • frankices
    • April 6th, 2012

    LMHO! Love it!

    P.S. I totally agree. Theyre all fags. ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

  4. gracias amigos 4 a w0rk well d0ne ere…7u++ing an end +0 all +h0se fagge+¥ relationship questions…
    *clicks remote*

  5. My very good friend, I think there’s something that tickles you about fags…. Clearly you hating, you also want to share your bumhole with the masculine world

    • #1. I’m not your friend..not to talk of “good” friend. #2. I see u’re clearly hurt. Ha! #3. See #1

    • @DaneighRute
    • April 7th, 2012

    Gaybriel!!!! What’s all this?! You shoulda left Efe to answer ’em, I connected to some questions *sings in a fade-away Drizzy voice*

  6. This guy…. LMFAO!!!
    The damn butt pirates! Mofos are everywhere these days.
    Call ’em out bro! Call ’em out!!!

    • Highlandblue
    • April 9th, 2012

    Ok my character in here was funny to me. And I laughed a lot while reading your gay answers to the questions. Nice work 🙂


    • Haha! My gay answers to the questions? Nah, twas my answers to the gay questions…from ur fans. Lol

    • D’princeNohits
    • April 13th, 2012

    Rotflmao* Finally chike,i can say ur blogpost is funny (well mostly bcos U̶̲̥̅̊ didn’t yab me sha)…my lawyer shud be gettin back to U̶̲̥̅̊ soon…jones out

  7. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! RJ, u need prayers oh!
    I loved reading this. I’ve seen a guy wearing a yellow skinny jean with a bright pink shirt, i thought he was both gay and insane!
    “You know what, break-up with ur girlfriend, u’re a fagget” <—- this one had me rolling! great post as usual!

    • Thnaks baby. ^_^ .. But Yellow jeans & bright pink shirt tho..dude was prolly born in a closet. Tha fooq?! Haha

  8. and yeah, i agree, those niccuhs gay! especially the 24, 7 football watching n yellow pants wearing niggets.

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