THE RJ SHOW S1E7

@ChykElfarooq_RJ: Welcome Ladies & Gentlemen… Been a while. This episode is sponsored by the Viagra Association Of Nigeria(VAN).. Ladies, we swallow pills to make the sex better, you gotta swallow as well to make the head better. Today we won’t have a regular show but I’ll play a movie for y’all to watch. I Played a lil part in the movie.. you know… as a boss. But I must warn you the movie is crap. Its meant to be a twit-version of the new movie “In Time”. Nothing should be taken p… Well, funny enough I didn’t diss anyone this time. Without further ado i present to you… “IN FOLLOWERS”

**********************************************

*@AlterMason’s Voice*

Its all about the followers…the mentions. Our twiter accounts have been automatically designed to be deactivated if we dont get up to 500 followers after the first 18 months on twitter. When the 18 months are up we are given an extra one week as long as we can get 5 new followers in that week, hence, the fierce followback threats. Mentions (yellow bars) have become the new currency. Some will do anything for a yellow bar. Some, through their natural intelligence. Some (especially the ugly fat ones)keep changing avatars, showing cleavage but no face… NEW AVATAR: Pls RT,Comment… Some, through their bleh puns. Some get their mentions by asking aMAZIngly stupid/retarded questions. Regardless of how we get them, the aim is the same…to stay relevant.

*Saturday Night. Wine Bar chilling. @ThePervNerd bout to engage in a fight with a couple of twood niggers after showing off his number of followers. @AlterMason rushes and helps @ThePervNerd escape.*

@ThePervNerd: No. Why did u rescue me? I want to leave twitter…
@AlterMason: ’em niggas were gon’ take u followers & shut down ur account.
@ThePervNerd: That’s all i want. To leave twitter. I’ve been here for ages. Tell me, what would you do if you had this much followers?
@AlterMason: well, i’ll use it for good. I’ll prolly help get rid of that old question-asking-headwarmer-wearing negro. Maybe i’ll …
@ThePervNerd: yea. Yea. I get the point. We should get some sleep its gon’ be a long day tomorrow.

Both @ThePervNerd & @AlterMason sleep off. @AlterMason wakes up the next morning and finds himself alone in the room. With over 4,000 followers. He tries to find @ThePervNerd but his account is no more. It had been deactivated. Stunned but happy @AlterMason immediatedly logs in via the new twitter for blackberry to give @TheDarkDuchess some followers but it takes long for his TL to refresh and her account gets deactivated as well. He’s pissed and moves outa his inner-circle into another timezone or rather, another tweetzone. Where the fresh kids stay. @ChykElfarooq_RJ and co. (God punish u if u just did yimu). Drunk, bored and with over 4,000 followers, @AlterMason begins to think bout what to do with his followers. Surely there must be a way he could give out some of them so that others could get mentions and wouldnt have their accounts deactivated. Deep in his thoughts and wondering about in a hotel, he runs into @Adahna, daughter of @exschoolnerd (a business woman in charge of handing out mentions). He immediately falls in love with @Adahna and zooms off with her… Into her INNER-CIRCLE 🙂

Rounds pass. Ma bad. Days pass and they both decide to steal followers and mentions from @exschoolnerd and give to other followers. You know, on a Bonnie & Clyde meets Robin Hood type-thing. After stealing Mentions & giving ’em out they always had DM-sex.yup, Sick beings. Soon enough @exschoolnerd & the law enforcers were able to “Trace” them & caught up with them… and sent @AlterMason to twitjail claiming he was a criminal and also a member of the illuminati. [*Pause* Who saw what I did there? @exschoolnerd & Trace.. Get it? I know.. I’m smart 🙂 *unpause*] @Adahna, worried, gathered all the people @AlterMason had helped and they all start a protest in front of twitjail. With banners and all that.

@AlterMason's Protesters Outside twitjail...

 Just as they were protesting @ChykElfarooq_RJ was being released from twitjail. And no it aint for stalking @********’s tweets.

@ChykElfarooq_RJ: hey faggets. Wait wait…. Lawyer @adahna!!!! Long time. Tsup with u? And what are u doing here?
@Adahna: its @AlterMason. We ran into some problems and he got arrested. Plus he got falsely accused for being a member of the illuminati. You have to help me.
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: let me get this straight… @AlterMason is being held in twitjail for several crimes, one being connections to the ILLUMINATI and all your banners are saying “FREE MASON” ? Doesn’t that… U know… Defeat the purpose? :s

*@adahna & her fellow protesters look at each other and slowly lower their banners in shame*

@ChykElfarooq_RJ: u know. Maybe there’s a way i can help. The dude in charge of twitjail is @Giammatti.

*@Chykelfarooq_RJ walks back into twitjail and into the holding room where @AlterMason was being….held.*

@Chykelfarooq_RJ: look, why dont both of u arm-wrestle for the the followers.
@Giammatti: excellent! Excellent! Lets do this. *pause*

* @AlterMason & @Giammatti begin to arm-wrestle and immediately @Giammatti begins to dominate. @AlterMason starts gasping for air as his followers start heading towards the Zero-mark*

@Chykelfarooq_RJ: *whispering to @AlterMason* what are u, crazy? Its @Giammatti. Throw in a pun or two and he’ll lose focus.
@AlterMason: nice. Yo Giammatti…. Q Q Q Q.
@Giammati: what’s that? Oh oh… “Fuck you”. LOOL (Y)
@_ThinkThank_: 63/100
@AlterMason: its working. Ok ok ok. Ummm … The owner of a popular “food spice is in a dilemma. She doesn’t know if she should Drink or Drive… A Gin Or Motto.

*The puns made @Giammatti lose focus as expected & just as he….*

*kpaks*

@IzienTheFreak_: Shike!! U need Jesus. Is this what we agreed u’ll blog about?
@Chykelfarooq_RJ: oh ma bad. I just got carried away. Sorry viewers, i was actually meant to make an announcement. The season finale of “The RJ Show” will be out next week and our guest, by popular demand, will be the White man, @IzienTheFreak_. Pls join us next week. 😀

*Theme Song Plays…. Kangpe By Nneka*

    • @Frankices
    • December 11th, 2011

    Present. ^_^

    • AlterMason
    • December 11th, 2011

    LOOOOOOOOOOL…..I’m in tears

  1. Lmfaooooooooooooo What is this? Hahahah
    But my acct gets deactivated in the beginning 😥 😦

    • NateOblivion
    • December 11th, 2011

    Fucking INSANE.

    • radiokiller
    • December 11th, 2011

    U are raving mad

      • @Wumie
      • December 11th, 2011

      And u r waving mad *this isn’t a reply* 😐

  2. This nigga has truly lost his mind…
    A gin or motto «——– LOL!!!

    • @Wumie
    • December 11th, 2011

    Sheeeekkkay! Trouble maker! U need Jesus in ur life,I wnt be home when Mazi comes looking fr u oh…*exschlnerd & trace* nooiice…*ajinomoto? Why 😦 …lovely!

  3. LOL…Chike why am I here?…I have gone to Redeemed Christian church of God to Rhythm my Image….I am now Radioactive for Christ 😐

    • U see… U see… ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ )

    • See how u just used this nonsense comment to lose any followers that might have remained. Not to talk of the cool points that you now owe.

  4. Lmaooooo! Chibuike you know ur own is finished right? Right. See the kind of reputation u’ve built up for urself. I pity our kids. ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ )

  5. :O Oh my….A Gin Or Motto. You should have allowed Giammatti throw out a pun too…lol.

    And Izien is coming on ur show too…..*sigh*. Make sure he leaves Ikorudu early or he will be late

    • ollaollu
    • December 11th, 2011

    Lool! Sick!! “A gin or motto”
    I swear, its over for Giammati!! Radiowat!! Lmfaoooo!

  6. LMAOOOO. Whaaat? 😥 and Why does Mason have to get into my “inner circle”? 😐

  7. cool…i got d aMAZIngly Sub…awesome
    didn’t notice d ‘trace’ and exschoolnerd pun at first till u refered 2 it, brilliant then d ‘gin or motto’ ….cool

    • Nice!! I think u’re prolly the only person that caught the sub. (Y) .. Thanks man. 🙂

    • jemjem
    • December 11th, 2011

    U forgot d usual posted via Sagem my x-3!!!

  8. LMAOOOOO! Ur posts always crack me up! #no cocaine. 😀 I did good yeah? U’re totally cray oh! I loved what u did with it! In time rmx ft. Twitter. Really good!

    • Eka (@deezatweets)
    • December 12th, 2011

    LMFAO!!! If u’ve not sha seen d movie, u may not understand…. Really hillarious!

    • Alf_redd
    • December 12th, 2011

    ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ )

    • Verb
    • December 12th, 2011

    I just want to thank God for my own life, for protecting me from such insanity. Praise be unto His Holy name

    • @forlarin
    • December 13th, 2011

    chike ajike,i used to think u were effing hilarious…buh now i see dat isnt the case,d thing is uve not bin feeling well nd all dese people are laffing at u.its not fair sha,hpe u get well soon.ure always in my prayers

  9. Hell is goddamn real! No pun intended.

    Chike, your soul is in God’s hands….

  10. LOL =)) =D 😥 =)) º̩̩́_º̩̩̀ Chike is a FOOOOL for this =)) but still (˘̩̩_˘̩̩̩ƪ)

  11. Last ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ ) …

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