End Of Year Mock Footie Awards

Man Utd in the Europa League *sigh* … *Moving On* Tsup fellow negros… Been a while… Its time for the 2nd annual footie mock awards, our end of year award actually. You can check out the first Footie Mock Award Here I ran outa opening jokes(my sense of humour has become shitty 😦 ) so i’ll just go ahead and hand out the awards. So Abramovic calls AVB to his office and tells him he’s really pissed with Chelsea’s present form and orders AVB to buy a new goalie cos Petr Cech is dull & he would be so pissed to see Petr play another game for the blues. Told AVB to name any price he wanted. Bottomline, AVB asked for a BLANK CHEQUE and thats why u know, Petr is still the goalie. 😦 okay let me try again. Ferdinand was recently arrested for pulling out a gun & firing Messi during a match against Barcelona. In the court Ferdinand said Villa was yelling “Messi shoot” and he panicked and pulled out a gun & shot first. Claims he did it in SELF-DEFENCE. Ok thats it. No more jokes. And now for the awards…

Soccer-god award.
There have been several talented footballers on the planet but never in soccer history has a player made others bow to him on the pitch… Literally. There’s the Chelsea-skipper below bowing to greatness.

And here’s Pique thinking bout how awesome this player is. Robin Van-Persie. The new soccer god.


Smartest soccer analyst
and the award goes to…. Me. monsieur RJ. *bows* lemme explain. Last season, newly promoted Newcastle finished 12th and this season they’re 5th. Not bad. Not bad at all. This season newly promoted QPR are 12th on the table and all things being equal, might find themeselves in 5th position next season. Only a smart person like myself, monsieur RJ can understand why. Wanna know why. Aii here it goes. Cos Newcastle sold Joey Barton to QPR. In others words, they handed over the BARTON/BATON to QPR. 😦

Cool Story Bro...

The “Pause” award.

  “When he opens his legs like that, its just a magnificent sight” – Gary Neville talking about Gareth Bale’s performance. *PAUSE* *PAUSE* *PAUSE* 😦 same Gary Neville that did this.

No Homo tho

World’s Best PLAYER
And the best PLAYER for 2011 goes to…. Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Yup, not Ronaldo, not Messi, not even Van Persie… Ibrahimovic. Once agai let me explain. A “player” is… Well, u know… A master in the P-setting department. Lets take a look at Zlatan.

Back in them days with Larson.

Then he moved to Barcelona and fell in love with Pique. With Pique’s bum.

Sadly they broke up and Zlatan moved to AC Milan. .. “I’m sorry I gotta move to Milan but we can skype errnight boo..*Drake-tears*”

In AC he found love again…. As a bad guy

And still does the “long distance P” with Pique.
¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

Player toh bad

And u say he isnt the World’s best PLAYER?? -_____-
*deletes blog and relocates to Yemen*

    • roteame
    • December 10th, 2011

    *first I hope*
    On to more serious tins, Chike ya a bastard. I mean I was reading dis sh*t in a class and I had to excuse myself *now on the toilet seat* I’m still gonna say ya a bastard. Gary den Ibra… I mean dis is HIfuckingLARIOUS. Thumbs up man, I fucking love dis *pardon my french* *strolls back into class*

    • whoistunde
    • December 10th, 2011

    LMAO!!!! Zlatan ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ )

  1. Lmaooo you need serious help…laughter for days. Word play is sick

    • blakk zaar
    • December 10th, 2011


    • danny
    • December 10th, 2011

    *smh* *smh* I wanna set p too 😦

    • @paulswagz
    • December 10th, 2011

    LMAO!!! SMH!!! U nid help sir!! 😦 …… 😀 ..Hilarious maine!!

    • terdoh
    • December 10th, 2011

    Chike! This analysis is so on point! And those opening ‘jokes’.

    Blank Cech tho…

    • ShoWontStop
    • December 10th, 2011

    Lawwwd! Wetin Ibra do u na. ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ )

    • ayojoibukun
    • December 10th, 2011

    LOL @ *dull- blank cheque* ; mad analysis on ZLATAN hahahahaha and just a quick reminder: ur slot in hell is still in place!! LOOOOL Nice job lil fagget! (Y)

    • I am a Jesus Baby ┐(‘⌣’┐) (┌’⌣’)┌ ƪ(˘⌣˘)┐┌(˘.˘)ʃ … Heaven sure for me. .. Thanks boss.

    • Ummi @hayate05
    • December 10th, 2011

    Hahaha OMG!!! If I were Shakira I’d dump Pique…nice one.

  2. Lmfao! Chike is a fowl….’Hands over the Barton to QPR’…that had me rolling. Nice Post #NoPunIntended

    • AZEEZ
    • December 10th, 2011

    Lmaooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! U dey crase.

    • sholly
    • December 10th, 2011

    Zlatan! 😦

    • forlarin
    • December 10th, 2011

    chike i am running out of insults to rain upon u…..

    • Verb
    • December 11th, 2011

    Chike is going to hell *dancing* whooooppiiiieee!

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