The RJ Show: S1E3

@ChykElfarooq_RJ: Why’s the room empty? Why is the camera crew planking outside when the show is meant to start in a bit & what the fuck do you mean by “the show has been cancelled”?
@TobiMrLong: You can go and meet the Network’s C.E.O. maybe he can interpret it into “English” for you.
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: Very funny, you lil fruit.
@TobiMrLong: Look, I just get paid to direct the show. I’ve been paid for today’s show but then I got a text from the C.E.O. saying the Show’s been cancelled. You’ve got an hour to resolve your issues, after that, I’m outa here.
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: *Walks outa the room in anger*
*@ChykElfarooq_RJ takes the elevator to the last floor of the building where the network’s C.E.O’s office is.
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: *knocks on the door and enters after there was no reply*
@whoistunde: WTF!! *takes huge breasted girl off his laps* you’re meant to knock.
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: I did that, I guess her nipples were in your ears.
@whoistunde: *turns to the girl* ummm, Bukky I’ll see you when I get …
Rukie: It’s “Rukie”!! *walks away*
@whoistunde: RJ, are you happy now?
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: Not exactly. I heard my show has been cancelled. Why?
@whoistunde: are you kidding me. Why wouldn’t I cancel it? On the season premiere you shot @TweetOracle. You shot your GUEST!
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: I was pissed. He kept….
@whoistunde: The next episode you almost had @Sir_Scribbles killed. That’s arguably the funniest tweep in 9ja & you almost had him killed. And then you allowed the Bakassi boys get on the show. You think that was funny? Getting your fellow igbo razzos on the show, you think that’ll improve our ratings?
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: Look dawg, those things were beyond my control.
@whoistunde: Beyond your control? Do you know why @ThePervNerd, @CapoieraPanda, @exschoolnerd & @thetoolsman have awesome blogs, they talk about romance, setting P, sex, paroles,life’s adventures and other things that interest their peers. You… you spend time on your superbowl and come up with shitty scenarios and ideas for your blog. Your stories are never ever applicable to our lives. I’ve cancelled @TundeEdnut as today’s guest. I even heard @IzienTheFreak & @IkilledMario have been lurking around & waiting for the show to start so they can verbally attack him. You guest for today will be @Okem_Daniels. Y’all are best friends & I’m sure you’ll have no problem getting along.
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: I’ve got him scheduled for next week
@whoistunde: my word is final…Now get the fuck outa my office. NOW!!
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: 😦 … *Walks away in shame*
*************************************************************************************
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: ok, I don’t care bout what the C.E.O. Said,ladies and gentlemen,THE SHOW MUST GO ON. Welcome to this week’s episode of The RJ Show. Today’s episode is solely sponsored by PHCN…. We are as effective as the letter “K” in “Knife”. So our guest today could not be with us ‘here at the studio’ but as the popular saying goes “If the erect penis does not go to Odina,then Odina shall go to the erect penis”. Speaking of Odina,our winner for last week is @Umiedit. “Odina was not born a virgin”. Mr Umi you’ve just won an all expense paid trip to Borno (Where dem Boko Haram niggas be chilling). Contact me for details. We shall now crossover to the Lagos State Penitentiary for Wackos where our correspondent @FierceCutie is standing by with @IzienTheFreak,the Prison Warden. Over to you sweerie.
@FierceCutie: Thanks Darl. Welcome to the Lagos State penitentiary for wackos which was built to protect the society from music offenders. Its being run by @IzienTheFreak & @IkilledMario,who couldn’t be here with us. Could you tell us about this facility as we walk to @TundeEdnut’s cell.
@IzienTheFreak: well,you’ve stated the purpose for its establishment, I don’t need to repeat that. Umm, no one goes unpunished here,even the very best. MI did 2months for his line in Undisputed “Who came in the game just like mumu/now you’re chopping the game just like fufu”. Terry G is doing 15 years for multiple offences. Vic O,D’Prince and Ednut are all doing 25 to life.
*Cell Block central door opens… Inmates start whistling and shouting at the sight of @FierceCutie*
@IzienTheFreak: Hey assholes!!!! Order!!!!
*inmates shut up*
@FierceCutie: wow!! They seem to fear you.
@IzienTheFreak: ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯™
*both walk to @TundeEdnut’s cell*
@FierceCutie:Ladies and Gentlemen,we have in our midst, @TundeEdnut who has been jailed for ……
@IzienTheFreak: jailed for making shitty sounds worse than my fart and uploading them on 4shared.com for the innocent public to download claiming they’re “songs”.
@FierceCutie:Yeah,Exactly.
@TundeEdnut: First of all, fuck you RJ,fuck this show,fuck you Izien. Fuck y’all. I’m dope, I know I am. If D’banj owned “catching cold”, I’m sure y’all woulda been blasting it. “Scapegoat” was crap but still got into notjustok.com’s list of the top 10 9ja jams for 2010. Y’all are haters. You never appre…
@FierceCutie: Dude!!! Easy, I haven’t criticized you….yet. First of all I want to know more bout your career as a comedian.
@TundeEdnut: o.. My bad
@FierceCutie:yeah,lil fucker! now I heard you’re an award winning comedian. Is it true??
@TundeEdnut: *pops imaginary collar* yup
@FierceCutie:I think I speak not only for myself but for most of the people at home when I say I’ve never heard your joke(s) before.
@TundeEdnut: I get that a lot. Lemme give u one real quick…. Knock Knock!
@FierceCutie:ummm.. Who’s there?*rme*
@TundeEdnut: Ya!
@FierceCutie:Ya who?
@TundeEdnut: Exactly!!!! Yahoo! 🙂
@FierceCutie: *blank stare* ……………………… I can’t take this any more. 😦 .over to you RJ.
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: sorry bout that sweerie. That brings us to today’s episode of The RJ Show but before we leave,today’s question.

Which of the following SUCKS the most.. (A) Odina’s mouth (B) Ednut’s Music (C)Mazi’s Q&A.
From our studio here at yaba left. Have a wonderful day/night.

Theme Song Plays: Kangpe By Nneka

Sir Tunde Ednut

Sir Tunde Ednut

    • whoistunde
    • July 9th, 2011

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Chike ur crazy for dis 1.

    • Wumie
    • July 9th, 2011

    *First comment* Where’s ma trophy? 😀

    • wole
    • July 9th, 2011

    Hilarious!

  1. As usual, this is hilarious!
    I would have liked to see more Tunde Ednut tho …

    • Tanks ma’am. Didn’t want to make it too long dts why. There mite be “behind the scene” clips available sha. ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

    • radiokiller
    • July 9th, 2011

    This shike has issues bigger dan fpryme’s ex-gf’s yam legs! Ah ahn!! Yaf lost it pata pata…..shikena!

    • Wumie
    • July 9th, 2011

    Ehen after reading…Tunde Ednut dint actually say dat yahoo jOke,or did he?O_o and Chike yes we want behind the scenes + Lolu leave Fpryme alone na pls 😦

    • We’re working on that. Mite be available soon. :)… According to Frankie, he cracked that joke. Not sure sha.. Hehe

  2. hahahahahahaha! shey dis one na still show abi? dem go soon beat you real life! lmao! Nice one hun 😀

    • Haha… As in ehn, I knw they’ll soon kidnap & murder me. God shall fight my battles. *angel smiley* … Thanks a lot tho 🙂

    • @demmylee
    • July 12th, 2011

    For the answer to the Q above, its definitely Mazi’s Q&A.

    • @Fiercecutie
    • December 29th, 2011

    @Chike Lmao.. Dis is def late in comin nd I apologise… U R Talented… U alwys crack me up, weneva, whreva etc.. God! Ur brilliant!! *big french kiss* lol

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