THE RJ SHOW.. S1 E2

@ChykElfarooq_RJ: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to this week’s episode of The RJ Show sponsored by O!Noddles & MTN … We useless die. Last two weeks we asked a question and only @IyamJeanhadu got it right. Here’s your prize, an MTN 1,500 recharge card.

0223 4419 3218

Pls, quickly load it before one sharp Warri boy loads it. Today’s question is this:

How old was Odina when her cherry got popped? 8, 7 or 5?

Now, on the last episode we had a lil bit of a problem with the guest but this week won’t be a replica of that event. Like I promised, our guest this week is a true crowd favorite. One of the funniest dudes on twitter. He just flew in from UK this morning and due to the Lagos traffic he’s coming in a chopper … oh wait, I just received news that he’s having difficulties landing on the helicopter pad on the roof.

*Camera shows a dude jumping from Rihanna’s forehead in a parachute. Dude lands safely and starts to make his way to the stage through the hallway*

@ChykElfarooq_RJ: Ladies and gentlemen, the C.E.O. of SNN Headlines, the Legendary……. SIR SCRIBBLES!!!!!!!

*The audience starts screaming … Seconds later they start chanting “SIR SCRIBBLES! SIR SCRIBBLES!” … Two random female followers scream “ROBERT!!!” *

@ChykElfarooq_RJ: Shhh… Call him “Sir Scribbles”. You don’t know him like that. Famzers!!

*They give @ChykElfarooq_RJ the Middle finger*

@Sir_Scribbles: *gets to the stage, smiles & waves … fist bumps @ChykElfarooq_RJ*
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: I’m glad to have you on the show, please have a seat. I’m such a huge fan of SNN headlines and it was a huge deal for me to have you on the show. Welcome.
@Sir_Scribbles: Thanks. It’s a pleasure to be here but o boy, the security for here na die o. I was checking NN24 news online earlier today while at the airport in UK and I saw news about a girl that was kidnapped, that’s when I called you about rescheduling the show but then I later on saw another news that the suspect, Clifford Orji, had been apprehended after he was seen walking around with a takeaway pack and toothpick.

*@ChykElfarooq_RJ & the audience burst into laughter*

@ChykElfarooq_RJ: Haha! Nice one scribbles. What a way to start the show. We have loads of people waiting to ask you questions. Caller number one, you’re on the air.. & please keep your questions “SHORT”
@MrOnafuye: You bastard, why do you keep taking SHOTs at me.
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: Oh! SHUT up… Lil Fagget
@MrOnafuye: 😦 Isorai … @Sir_Scribbles, I have just one question for you… Why do you keep dissing Rick Ross cosa his weight?
@Sir_Scribbles: hehehe! My brother, it ain’t my fault o. The dude makes it easy for him to be targeted. Okay, I’m sure you’ve heard “Free Mason” off his Teflon Don album where he featured Jay-Z and John Legend. Awesome track but on Rozay’s verse he said and I quote “So.. So I JFK. Joined Forces with the Kings and we ATE ALL DAY”. So you see, it ain’t my fault brah!

                   *@ChykElfarooq_RJ & the audience burst into laughter again*

@ChykElfarooq_RJ: Shet! Ahahaha! That’s so true, he did say that. Mehn, I miss SNN Headlines on my TL on Friday nights. I heard you’re working on a bigger project now & you have an app coming out soon.
@Sir_Scribbles: Yep! It hasn’t been easy. Working on…

*5 Guards walk forward… one climbs the stage… the audience start booing @ChykElfarooq_RJ*

@ChykElfarooq_RJ: What the hell is going on here? … Somebody answer me!!!
Guard1: Sir, we just received news that @Tweetoracle & Jim Iyke are in the building. Mazi wants to kill you & Jim Iyke wants @Sir_Scribbles’ head on a platter.
@Sir_Scribbles: WHAT?! RJ, if you wanted to kill me you should have just mailed one of Vic O’s “songs” to me.
Guard2: Sir, they came along with the Bakassi boys.

*The bakassi boys immediately get to the stage and kill all 5 guards.*

Ebube (Leader Of Bakassi Boys): *Chanting in igbo* Ike’m … PUTA!!
Nonso (Interpreter) : huh?! … hmm.. ok o…“My Buttocks… Come Out!!!”
Cletus (Asst Leader) : You idiot, he meant “my strength… Come Out”
Nonso (interpreter) : Oh! The two words sound alike.

*Mazi & Jim Iyke emerge like badt guys*

Jim Iyke: Scribbles, Robert or whatever your name is, we finally meet. You’re definitely going to die today & the joke’s gon’ be on you. You’ve been feeling really cool on twitter. Treating me like a nose while errbady laughs at your jokes…
@Sir_Scribbles: excuse me.. “Treating me like a nose”.. I don’t get..
Jim Iyke: Picking on me… you’re PICKING on me like im you’re NOSE. That’s a punchline from my latest track featuring Tunde Ednut.
@Sir_Scribbles: WTF?!! Are you crazy…. What sorta wack line is that? How won’t I yab you?
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: *Mumbles to himself* Tunde Ednut..hmmm.. that should be my guest for next week.. *Devil Smiley*
Jim Iyke: You’re still talking shey. Mazi tell these guys that… Mazi! Mazi! Why are you so quiet?
@TweetOracle: *Types something on his phone & shows it to Jim Iyke*?
Jim Iyke:*collects phone & reads* what dyu mean you don’t want to get tranquilized again? You know what, I’m tired of this whole drama… Bakassi boys,ATTACK!!

*Just as the bakassi boys were about to attack and kill @Sir_Scribbles & @ChykElfarooq_RJ, the current MBGN, Miss Taraba (who had been watching from the audience) stepped forward and uttered a full sentence in English. The gbagaun caused the Whole Bakassi boys to die. Mazi & Jim Iyke are still missing*

@Sir_Scribbles & @ChykElfarooq_RJ: Thanks Ma’am!!
@Sir_Scribbles: Mehn, RJ you’ve got issues with this your show o. Gotta run before Eucharia or someone else comes to kill me.
@ChykElfarooq_RJ: Sorry for the whole ish mehn, thanks for coming. *Turns to the camera* Join us again next week for another episode of The RJ Show where our guest would be the award winning comedian/“talented” singer @TundeEdnut. From our studio her at Yabeleft, this is RJ saying have a nice day!.

*Theme Song plays… Kangpe By Nneka*

  1. *rolling* Hoe my gawt!!! Now, I can sleep happy.

    • @AcMilanKidd
    • July 1st, 2011

    hahahahahahaha……. Sponsored by MTN and O’noddles …. We Useless Die…. Lmao

    • Onafuye
    • July 1st, 2011

    You would die a peasant’s death 😐

    • twittinigerian
    • July 1st, 2011

    “Treating me like a nose” *rolling*

  2. This is facking hilarious! Perfect way to start my day!

    • @k6rocks
    • July 1st, 2011

    LWKMD-‘you’re PICKING on me like im you’re NOSE’—well he is that foolish though..lol

    • whoistunde
    • July 1st, 2011

    LMAO!! Now I got ur blog on bookmark…Too damn funny

    • fed!
    • July 1st, 2011

    Balla ayam just fed 4 u o! Ah ha! Ike mu puta WTf 😦 bt u didn’t fry yam and egg na (okem and ore)

    • The Stig.
    • July 1st, 2011

    *chokes on Parle Soda* interesting. Scratch that. HILARIOUS!!!! (Clinton)•_•

    • 🙂 (y) …………. Tell ’em teenagers to abstain from drugs & sex… Clean teens .. •_•

  3. Where was I all the while?? I feel cheated! Nice! Beautiful! Lovely! Abeg lemme know when d next post is up!

    • Umi
    • July 1st, 2011

    Mrs taraba. To save the day!! lmfaoooo b.t.w d answer to d question is odina was not born a virgin 😐

    • *rolling* Chet!! u’re a wicked being.. “odina was not born a virgin” … isorai! *answer noted* 🙂

    • @bahd_guy
    • July 1st, 2011

    Buhahahaa!! Nice one mayn’

    • Wumie
    • July 1st, 2011

    So after waiting anxiously fr dis I carried last,#1.Odina lost it at age 8,I knw this -_- #2,picking on me like ur nose? Chike God will judge u 😦

    • Moonraker_00
    • July 2nd, 2011

    LMFAO!!! I didn’t watch the MBGN pageant though, but will y’all free the poor Miss Taraba already? LOL

    • @yinkadelakes
    • July 2nd, 2011

    ”odina was nt born a virgin”..lwkmd..shyke well done again..

    • TJ
    • July 2nd, 2011

    Rotflmfao

    • @demmylee
    • July 2nd, 2011

    ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so freaking hillarious. OMG! *wiping tears*

    • okem_daniels
    • July 2nd, 2011

    I see u ma nucca

    • Izien
    • July 2nd, 2011

    This IS A BLOG!!!

    • charles legend
    • July 2nd, 2011

    Nice one lmao

  4. Phenomenon but why? Lol. I like the Sir Scribbles impersonation. You should have picked on him a little too, I’m sorry I mean, treated him like a nose. Everyone likes to see a god man brought to judgenent. Now he escaped your studio unscathed. So we know he’s your friend! Lol. Nice one.

    • 🙂 tanks bruf. I culdnt “treat him like a nose” cos u knw, I’m actually a huge fan of SNN…. And I didn’t want my ass to get handed to me -_-

    • sholly
    • July 3rd, 2011

    *rolling to infinity*

    • terdoh
    • July 3rd, 2011

    Chyke, you’ve done it again! Mad funny!! (I have told you to stop picking on the Oracle! He knows TuFace’s family personally oh!)

    • Kevin
    • July 5th, 2011

    Kai!!! Hahahahaha…Chike u wicked sha…hilarious episode once again…nd I agree, Odina was not born a vajin…Peace…

    • Thanks boss.. (Y) … Make Odina catch una sha,she go rape una to death. U & Umi

        • Kevin
        • July 6th, 2011

        *clears throat*

    • Daizie
    • July 7th, 2011

    As usual i af carry last *sighs* First. Odina was ‘born’… I tot she dropped from one kain place like that… #noted. Anyway mad post! The nose bit had me ROTFLMAO… ok i did not ROTF…. but dis was mad funny oh, my sides hurt…. smh.

    • O_O Princess,u read my crap(blog).. 🙂 .. I shall sleep well 2nite.. Thanks mami.. And u pple shuld free odina, she is human just lik..ok, who am I kidding,she aint. -_-

    • tobz
    • July 25th, 2011

    LMAOOOOO…. Why do I know you? Why? :’)

    • freakyjoangeL
    • August 12th, 2011

    #np nose -Jim Iyke ft. Ednut…
    Chike, you are mad sha…just mad.

    • miss boss
    • August 12th, 2011

    Noice.

  1. September 10th, 2011

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