El-Farooq: Aye yo wassup? Wassup? Wassup? It’s that ignant nigga El-Farooq here again. Been a while. The boy RJ AKA Mr. Birthmark On The Nut-sack has been running his RJ Show so I’ve had to step back for him but he be having writer’s block & shit like that so Imma take advantage of that & host my own version of the Idols show, the C.S.L. Idols. Now PLEASE NOTE THIS… the following contestants u’re about to see ARE NOT parodies of real life Nigerian rappers. I know some of you over intelligent mutherfuckers might be tryna equate that shit so before you get ur Sherlock on imma say this only once… DON’T TRY TO BE SMART & PUT ME IN TROUBLE. For example Larry Tha Rapman IS NOT a parody of Terry Tha Rapman. In fact I’ll twist shit up, like niggas that like wearing extra clothes, u know peeps that like wearing head warmers under the blazing sun, imma take their clothes off *Pause* just so I can confuse the shit outa you mutherfuckers. The pictures ain’t even gon match. Just saying mehn, cos I don’t want niggas running up on my family & shit. Now shoutout to the 3 judges we have… the big booty lovers @Alf_redd & @AZ33Z_ … and ma darling @Her_Gorgeousnes. Hey baby.
@Her_Gorgeousnes: hey sweetheart. Muaah.
El-Farooq: looking pretty. That’s a stunning dress.
@Her_Gorgeousnes: thanks Farooq. *Blushes*
El-Farooq: Aii. Let’s kick this off with our first contestant, Log-Head Man.
Log-Head Man: *Walks In* morning.
*All 3 Judges gasp*
@AZ33Z_: Morning. You know for a rapper u really could use a wrapper right now… ( ._.) Go ahead & show us what u got.
Log-Head Man: I’m fly & I’m the shit. So these haters see me & say “shoooo”/ My lyrics touch your soul(sole) that’s why I dey sell Shoe/ Fools say “u can diss 9yse but u didn’t reply Muud 9”/ call me Justin Timberlake cos I’ll do that ‘in time’/ All these internet gangstas see me & see success so they always stay bitter/ that’s why they hating on a nigga when I said imma verify my account on twitter
@Alf_redd: leave the stage. Now. NEXT!!!!
El-Farooq: wow. That’s 3 Nos. Ok. We have the next big thing. Dope ass rapper. S.O. Kenedoe.
S.O. Kenedoe: *Walks in* Morning my people.
@Her_Gorgeousnes: hmm. A tall man. I’m in love already.
@Alf_redd: well, don’t let that distract u.
@AZ33Z_: show us what u got sir.
S.O. Kenedoe: ahaaa!! Yo it’s the CSL idols/ the god can’t be idle/ I’ll make you judges bow to me like ur forefathers did to idols/ I’m here to clear my rivals/ make way for the king’s arrival/ I’ll spray ur chiefs with foreign currency… igwe dollar/ they be watching the throne so I’ll be shooting guards like Andre Iguodala/ take ur ho, cos imma dull her, cos nobody send her/ thoughts pour into my head when I’m outside Bradley Center.
@Her_Gorgeousnes: *Phew* my head o. Nice lines. Some I don’t understand tho. *Brings out encyclopedia*
@Alf_redd: cool. But I don’t like that Igwe dollar line. WTF??
@AZ33Z_: All these lines wey dey fly over my head sef. please explain “thoughts pour into my head when I’m outside Bradley Center.”
S.O. Kenedoe: you see. Bradley Center is the Arena of NBA’s Milwaukee Bucks. So “thoughts pour into my head when I’m outside Bradley Center” means “I’m thinking outside the bucks(box).” Get it??
@AZ33Z_: ??????? why didn’t you just say… I mean how is a normal person supposed to breakdown the in…… arrggghhh. NO for me.
@Alf_redd: I feel he’s dope. Tho didn’t like some lines but he’s cool. YES for me.
@Her_Gorgeousnes: Definitely a YES for me. Loved it.
El-Farooq: well people, S.O. Kenedoe has made it into the next round. #SOCountry. Next up is Larry Tha Raman.
Larry Tha Rapman: SYBT be dissing me on their blog. Today na today/ imma make the Sho(w) stop, wait who the fuck is Tunde?/ Tha stupid RJ be talking shii as well/ oh Tunde is the jonzer that has crush on Kel/ call me a fagget cos imma blow them below the belt/ beat them so bad they ain’t gon be saying trash about Larry Tha Rapman/ make them scared so when they see me they’ll scream “OMOH, THIS LARRY DEY RAP MEHN”. Best rapper alive.
El-Farooq: *Phone rings… picks phone* Yo Sho, wat e do?
@Showontstop: I’m kicking. Yo I’m watching this Show on TV and all I wanna say is tell Larry to stop calling himself Best Rapper alive. *hangs up*
@Alf_redd: LOOOL. No for me sha.
@AZ33Z_: Yes for me. Liked the venom u had.
@Her_Gorgeousnes: “call me a fagget cos imma blow them below the belt”? Seriously? *Turns to @AZ33Z_* u seriously wanna endorse this?
@AZ33Z_: haha… no o. take that line out & …
Larry Tha Rapman: fuck ur verdict. *walks out*
El-Farooq: wow. That was odd. Ok now, we have our first female. The beautiful Kumachi.
El-Farooq: oh camaan, darl. U’re my one & only besides I didn’t say nada when u waz flirting with S.O. Kenedoe (._. )
Kumachi: Body of a goddess, mind of a hustler/ if u know any diva better than me go ahead and call her/ they hating on me cos I spend dollars & pop my collar/ fuck it. u guys must be nuts no kola. Niggas be….
@Alf_redd: what tha fuck? That line….
Kumachi: Niggas be talking sht that they iz the rap Michael Jordan on the Mic mehn/ I’m a mixture of Kareem, Kobe & Larry Bird, I better pass the Mike mehn.
@Alf_redd: emi? Telling me to pass the mic? Do you know how old I am? I’ve been bumping hip-hop since 1974. Who the fuck is u?
@Her_Gorgeousnes: Alfred. I think she meant Mike as in Michael Jordan not Mic. She was speaking pidgin. “I’m a mixture of Kareem, Kobe & Larry Bird, I better pass the Mike mehn”. As in, if u add up those 3, that’s who she is & that’s better than anybody claiming to be Mike Jordan.
@AZ33Z_: LMAO!! Baba don take am p oh.
@Alf_redd: oh! Ma bad. I thought she was disrespecting a nigga. Well, just cos I misunderstood & u interrupted me to continue rapping… NO!!
@Her_Gorgeousnes: haba, well, NO for me too. Ain’t feeling u. Sorry.
@AZ33Z_: Nope. You’re sexy & all but… No.
El-Farooq: sad. I loved her but then… it’s the JUDGES that have the final say Ms. Kumachi. Well then, our last contestant we have the First lady, Gasha D.
Gasha D: The first lady is here so go ahead & blast ur trumpets/ I’m the rugged queen of this jungle & but live posh like Donald Trump’s pet
Gasha D: R.I.P. to my brother DaGrin, imma spit some lines in Yoruba/ I saw the real u jumping on okada/ haha ko so wo, ode fewo prada
@Her_Gorgeousnes: What’s happening here?
Gasha D: 9ja’s rap queen I own the throne/ I’ll do a Roy Delap on my rivals, they will all get thrown.
El-Farooq: Excuse me, we have a Skype call from Hon. Obahiagbon. *clicks remote*
What comportment of unadulterated 4 edged eating utensil are u spewing?
El-Farooq: *sad face* for those who didn’t understand… he means “what manner of pure (fork)fuckery is coming outa your mouth” -_-
@Her_Gorgeousnes: nah! I can’t take this. *walks out*
@AZ33Z_: We too bro. this ain’t what we signed up for. *walks out with @Alf_redd*
El-Farooq: madam, lock office when u finish ur “audition”.
*Gasha D Is left all alone in the middle of the room*
Gasha D: (⌣̩_⌣ )